Tulle is a 4-Letter Word

"You can never have enough tulle!" I was listening to tonight's episode of "My Fair Wedding" on WeTV while sitting on the couch with my laptop, trying to organize my calendar for the short week ahead.  When I heard the phrase, "You can never have enough tulle," I had to look up and hit the rewind button on my DVR.

I thought David Tutera's head was going to explode.  Literally.

Luckily, he held it together with a smirk and a "oh yes you can!"

In case you haven't read Danielle's updated bio, she had a great take on this: "I believe that tulle has its place... and that place is underneath a wedding gown."  Unfortunately, David's bride Amanda had an entire dress made of tulle, and was planning to have more tulle added!

If you are considering using tulle anywhere in your wedding (except UNDER your dress!), call a design professional for other ideas - whether it is your coordinator, your florist, or just a friend who knows fabrics. Organza, chiffon, and silk are much nicer words to use in your vocabulary.

(Strangely enough, David let her keep her tulle dress! I didn't see that one coming.)

Getting The Most Out Of Your Initial Consultation

By Lisa Burnett, Professional Bridal Consultant and owner of Elegant Weddings By Lisa The initial consultation is a get to know each other meeting for both the Bride as well as the Bridal Consultant. In order to get the most out of this meeting, it is best to come prepared. Although most Bridal Consultants are very knowledgeable and creative, your input puts a personal touch on the wedding. Whether you are starting from scratch or you have finalized some details of your wedding, these are some things you can do to enhance your first experience with the bridal consultant:

• If you have selected your dress bring a picture, or the style number and designer and be prepared to describe it. If you have not selected your dress give the consultant feed back on the color you plan to wear, as well as the style and formality. Your dress sets the tone for the entire event. If the groom is going to be present at the meeting your consultant will work around this situation without giving the groom an advance vision of the dress.

• Bring pictures of flowers, linen, table settings or any other decor or ideas that you have seen and want incorporated in your wedding.

• Have an idea of the color scheme you want to use in your wedding.

• If you have booked any vendors or your ceremony and reception venues, bring those contracts with you as well as any contact information.

• Set a realistic budget and be prepared to discuss it with your consultant honestly. The more your consultant knows about your budget, the better he or she can maximize your dollars.

• Have in mind an estimate of the number of guests you plan to have at your wedding.

• Decide on how many members you want in your bridal party.

• Most importantly set a wedding date, and have an idea of the time of day you want your ceremony to begin.

• If you have any family or cultural traditions that you want to incorporate into your wedding make your consultant aware of those as well.

• Make sure your consultant is aware of any special family situations.

• Prepare a list of questions that you want to ask the consultant.

When selecting your consultant make sure you are comfortable with their personality, as the two of you will be spending a great deal of time together in the months to come planning your wedding. Always make sure the consultant you hire is licensed. A coordinator that is a member of a Bridal Association is a plus, because this means he or she is dedicated to their profession. Never make a decision based on price. The cheapest is not always the best. Remember as with everything in life you get what you pay for. An experienced consultant is priceless.

Gratuity for Wedding Vendors

Gratuity for all wedding vendors is customary. Many brides wonder what should be the appropriate amount to tip their vendors. Tipping should always be based on the quality of service provided at your wedding. Some vendors will expect tips, and others will not. David Hanscom, Former President of the National Association of Mobile Entertainers and current President of the North Florida Professional DJ Association offered his insight on this subject. “While gratuity is a hot button topic it is something that frequently gets overlooked.  It has always been customary to pay a gratuity to individuals that work in any service industry.  Vendors in the wedding industry, such as Planners, Disc Jockeys and Musicians all provide a specific service versus a product.  Many times their time and talent are how they measure their value and worth.  Customarily a 15 – 18% gratuity is reasonable when you feel a service provider has gone above and beyond your expectations.”

One of the most valuable signs of your appreciation to your vendors would be to recommend them to others. A thank you card to your vendors is also a nice touch to show your gratitude for their hard work. By incorporating your planned vendor tips into you’re wedding day budget, you will have one less thing to worry about on your big day.

For more information on wedding day gratuity, check out the following web sites:

http://www.hudsonvalleyweddings.com/guide/tipping.htm

http://www.weddingpaperdivas.com/wedding-gratuity-guidelines.htm

Melanie Wishes She Knew...

From our “I Wish I Knew…” series!

I wish I had known how much I was going to want our wedding festivities to last; I would have made an extra effort to plan a farewell brunch with all of our guests.  Many of our friends and family just happen to run into each other during breakfast at a restaurant close to their hotel.  I've heard many stories about how fun it was to spend some extra time together and reminisce about the night before.  And each time I've said to myself, "I really wish we had been there."

Your wedding will probably be the only time you have so many of your loved ones celebrating together in the same time and place, and it is a very touching experience.  The farewell brunch is a great way to spend more time with your friends and family in a more relaxing and informal atmosphere.  You'll get to hear about parts of your wedding that you missed, and of course how fabulous it was!  So when you begin to think that you couldn't possibly plan another wedding related gathering consider adding just this one more:  I wish I had.

Heather Wishes She Knew...

From our “I Wish I Knew…” series! I wish I had hired a videographer.  It sounds cliche, and I hear videographers say it all the time, but there are some things that are great to see on video.

Since I work behind the scenes, I never like being in front of the camera, especially a video camera.  You'll very rarely catch a glimpse of me in wedding photos or video.

But I can remember my wedding reception like it was yesterday, even though it has been seven years.  To see all of my family dancing together (a rare sight for a Southern Baptist family!) made me so happy.  Our reception ended well past its scheduled end time (or so I was told), and we danced so much that the dance floor actually started coming apart.

As great as my photos are from that day, I wish I had a video as well - I know the "video" in my head won't last forever!

Emma Wishes She Knew...

From our “I Wish I Knew…” series! As soon as l got engaged, l was very excited to start planning for my special day. Even though l help to coordinate weddings, you really learn how easy it is to go over your wedding day budget when it is your own wedding. To keep within my budget l cut back on the things that l thought were not as important to me. However, looking back l now wish that l had really thought about it a little more. One of the biggest things that l wish l would have spent a little more money on was my photography package. Since l had a videographer l skimped a little on my photography package and did not get as many pictures as l had wanted. Nearly two years later l now know why people say to spend that little bit extra on your photographs, as a picture lasts a lifetime!

Melanie Wishes She Knew...

From our “I Wish I Knew…” series! I wish I knew where we were planning to go for our honeymoon before we set our wedding date.  We had already booked our venues for December 1st before we had even thought about our honeymoon destination.  We eventually decided on St. Lucia in the Caribbean in January.  This happens to be the peak season for most of the Caribbean and the prices for hotels and air travel are at their highest.  Our honeymoon cost almost double what it would have if we had gone in April.  If the date or time of year for your wedding is not a priority, consider planning around your honeymoon destination's off season.  You may find some great deals, and less crowded beaches or attractions.

Melinda Wishes She Knew...

From our "I Wish I Knew..." series! Planning a wedding can be very stressful.  You probably have all the skills and knowledge to plan your own wedding, but in order for it to be successful, you need help. Hire a planner even for just the day of the wedding, so you can be relaxed and not too stressed about the arrangements. I wish I had known that.

Melinda and her husband, Reynold (photo by Camera Bliss Photography)

I Wish I Knew...

I recently asked our team what they wish they had known as they were preparing for their own weddings, or what they learned looking back. In the next few weeks we will be sharing these little tidbits, starting today with our intern Melinda!

Wedding Day Snacks

Snacks may not be one of your top priorities as you are planning your wedding day.  But guess what?  You'll need them! I had a meeting with one of my Spring '09 couples on Saturday that reminded me of this point.  As we discussed the bride's love of sunflowers, the groom asked if they would still have seeds in them.  Then when we talked about using hypericum berries in the boutonnieres (I love berries, by the way!), he made another snack comment.

So, for all of those grooms-to-be out there that love to munch, here are some yummy recipes for Trail Mix that can fit nicely into a plastic bag on your wedding day!

SUGAR FROSTED TRAIL MIX

4 c. Sugar frosted corn flake cereal 2 c. dry roasted peanuts 2 c. plain chocolate candies 1 c. chopped dried apricots 1 c. raisins

In large bowl combine all ingredients. Store in tightly covered container or plastic bag. Yield 10 cups.

ULTIMATE TRAIL MIX

1 cup dried cranberries 1 cup dried blueberries 1 cup dried pineapple 1 cup dried apple pieces 1 cup peanuts 1 cup cashews 1 cup almonds 1 cup marshmallows (any kind) 1 1/2 cups puppy chow 1 cup chocolate chips 1 cup peanutbutter chips 1 cup butterscotch chips 1 cup white chocolate chips

Mix all ingredients together in a large bowl.

VANILLA CHIP TRAIL MIX

1 stick butter, melted 2 tbsp. cocoa 2 tbsp. sugar 4 c. Cheerios cereal 4 c. Wheat Squares cereal 1 c. slivered almonds 1 c. golden raisins 1 (10 oz.) pkg. Hershey vanilla milk chips

In 4-quart bowl, place butter. Microwave on High 1 minute or until melted; stir in cocoa and sugar. Add cereals and almonds; stir until evenly coated. Microwave at High 3 minutes, stirring every minute; stir in raisins.

Microwave on High additional 3 minutes, stirring every minute. Cool completely stir in vanilla chips. Store in tightly covered container in cool, dry place.

(I found these recipes on Cooks.com - check out the website for more!)

Dancing Through Life

While I was at the ABC conference this week, I met two super fun people with a super great product - "Dancing Together: A 90-minute Guide for a Beautiful Wedding Dance."  While I often suggest to my couples that they should take dance lessons prior to their wedding, this DVD is great for those that have limited time or limited budgets.  Plus, it can be done in the privacy of your own home! The DVD breaks down basic steps, and teaches you how to either "lead" or "follow" rather than choreographing specific moves.  This means you not only learn to dance for your wedding, but you learn to dance for life!  The 90-minute video is broken down into chapters, which include:

First Dance Steps

Moving Your Partner

Rotating Steps

Follower's Turn

The Entrance

Moving Away and Together

She Goes Turn

Waist Slide Turn

The Ending

Selecting Your Music

The video's website, http://beautifulweddingdance.com, has sample clips, reviews, and ordering information.

As a special gift to all First Coast Weddings and Events 2008 couples, we will be sending this DVD to you for free!

How To Hire a Wedding Photographer

The following article was originally published in our e-newsletter, before we had a blog.  It's great information - enjoy! How To Hire a Wedding Photographer Resources, Questions to Ask and Tips

By Jennifer Brum, Certified Professional Photographer http://www.jenbrumphotography.com |  phone 904.382.7255

For many brides, the wedding photography is often the most important part of the event. After the music has stopped, the cake has been eaten and the guests are gone, the wedding photos are all that remain of your wonderful day. For that reason, hiring a wedding photographer can be one of the most important and yet, nerve wracking decisions you’ll make.

But, don’t stress! There are many resources available to brides-to-be including local and national professional photographer associations and many experienced, well-trained and professional photographers in Jacksonville. Even your friends that are former brides can be an excellent referral source for you. 

Did you know that there is a local association for professional photographers? The Professional Photographers Society of North Florida (PPSNF) is an organization of photographers committed to helping photographers achieve career success and professionalism through education and networking. They have an excellent website, www.ppsnf.org that includes a complete member listing. Brides can view member websites, preview a gallery of work and contact the ones they would like to meet. 

On the national level, many photographers belong to the Professional Photographers of America (PPA) which provides similar resources, but also includes an explanation of the certification process for photographers. The PPA website is www.ppa.com. 

Most importantly, interview many photographers in your area to find the best match for you. After checking their credentials, does their photography style match how you envision your day? Do your personalities get along? What about references? 

Ask about their experiences at your location. What type of equipment do they use? Have they been trained in various lighting styles? What do they need from you to provide the best images possible? What type of albums and packages do they offer? 

After you have hired your photographer, communicate with them often. Let them get to know you. An engagement session is the perfect opportunity to get better acquainted in a relaxed setting. 

Lastly, remember to plan your day so that you can relax and have fun. If you are enjoying your day it will show in your images. So, try to accomplish as much as possible before the big day, delegate tasks that can’t be done early and focus on you and your groom.

Wedding Insurance

With the storms we've experienced in Northeast Florida this week, I have been thinking a lot about Wedding Insurance.  If you are not familiar with this service, I encourage you to check it out! There are two primary companies that offer Wedding Insurance:  WedSafe and Wedding Protector Plan.  Both offer similar coverage and pricing.  Types of things that are covered include:

• Loss of deposits
• Severe weather
• Damaged gifts
• Ruined photos
• Call to duty
• Illness or death
• Lost rings
• Wedding dress

The one-time cost for a policy is as low as $145.  The fee is based on the amounts you expect to spend on certain items, and both websites have charts showing the different levels of coverage.

Wedding Maps Made Easy!

If you want to share a great map with your wedding guests, be sure to visit Wedding Mapper!  You can create a free interactive map that includes the ceremony and reception sites, plus hotels, airports, attractions, restaurants and more!  You can even upgrade to a map with no ads, a personal web address, and additional links (such as your registry information) for a one-time fee of $9.95. 

As an added bonus, Wedding Mapper has partnered with Distinctive Directions to give you 10% off when you turn your online map into a printed version.  The graphic they create can be used for programs, map/direction cards in invitations, welcome basket letters, and more!

20/20 Vision For A Successful Marriage

Rev. Craig Grandstaff of Clergy Wedding Services was nice enough to share these thoughts on having a happy marriage, not just a happy wedding!

• Express your love in all ways.

• Hold hands no matter how old you are.

• Remember your wife is a lady.

• Do everything you can together.

• You can lose the battle and win.

• Complete trust is a must.

• Share your best ideas.

• Always agree on the big decisions.

• Practice real forgiveness.

• Remember one day at a time.

• Always talk things out.

• Never go to bed angry.

• Clearly define roles.

• Leave the small stuff behind.

• Spend time in the moonlight.

Rev. Grandstaff is available to perform wedding ceremonies, including interfaith and non-denominational services.  Visit his website at www.clergy4weddings.com for more details about his services.

The Last Dance

My new favorite wedding tradition was suggested by Darrin Franz of Deland Entertainment for the wedding of Mandy and Zeus.  

When it was time for the last dance, all of the guests were asked to leave the ballroom, leaving only the bride and groom. Even the vendors and venue staff left the room after photographer Nikki McEneaney snapped this pic. (Okay, I'll be honest - we took turns peaking in through a tiny window!)

What a romantic way to end the evening.  And when the dance was over, the guests were all positioned outside to send the bride and groom off.  What new or unique "traditions" can you start at your wedding?

What Do You Do With Your Wedding Dress After The Wedding?

You spent months searching for the perfect wedding dress, and also quite a bit of money! The wedding day has come and gone, and you looked absolutely perfect in your dress, and now it is a little bit dirty, hanging in your closet, holding lots of wonderful memories. What are you going to do with that fabulous wedding dress? The first thing to do would be to get the wedding dress dry cleaned. Many bridal shops provide a free dry cleaning gift certificate with the purchase of a wedding dress. Also some bridal shops offer a wedding gown preservation process. This process enables a bride to preserve the beauty of her wedding dress for years and years. Another great idea for your used wedding dress would be to donate the dress to a charity of your choice. One example is the Making Memories Foundation's Brides Against Breast Cancer. By searching online or maybe even speaking with the bridal shop where you purchased your dress, you will be able to find out lots of information on what to do with your wedding dress after the big day.

If you or someone you know is interesed in donating a wedding gown to Brides Against Breast Cancer, contact heather@firstcoastweddings.com.

Don’t Stress Your Wedding Day Away!

When it comes down to the final weeks before the big day, the last payments are due, family is starting to arrive from out of town, and the final preparations are underway, many brides stress levels start to rise. There are so many emotions going through the bride those final, critical weeks, it is no wonder that some brides can definitely fall over the edge. Luckily there are many ways to subdue that pre wedding day stress, just by following some simple steps: 1. Be organized. Have documentation, preferably an excel file, of all payments that have been made and all payments that still need to be made for the wedding. This way you will easily be able to stick to your wedding day budget, and you will be able to follow the payment progression.

2. Relax and unwind. A couple of weeks before the wedding, book a massage or facial at your local spa. This way you can spend at least one hour pampering yourself and relaxing your mind and body.

3. Exercise. If you are too busy to hit the gym, try taking a 20 minute walk or jog around your neighborhood. This will help you to work out any tensions and frustration you may be feeling.

4. Don’t stress the small stuff! Worrying about how the weather maybe on the wedding day, or how Aunt Sue may react to seeing Uncle Bob, are minute details, that do not need to be fussed over. Relax and take comfort in knowing that your wedding day will be magical, no matter what happens.

An important thing to remember when the wedding day is near by is to ask for help. Family and friends will be there for you, and would probably love to take over any tasks that maybe causing you stress.

Changing Your Last Name Is Not Always So Easy!

The world seems to be getting smaller and smaller these days, and with how easy traveling abroad has become, it is no wonder that many future brides and grooms are meeting and falling in love over seas. Many engaged couples are living in America under the Green Card status, in hopes to apply for Citizenship some day. If the bride is not an American Citizen, and is living in the United States under a Green Card, changing surnames is not so easy, and involves many steps. The first step to take once the bride is officially married is to contact immigration and have immigration update the Green Card with the new marital surname (this could take some weeks). Once you have verification from immigration, the bride can then go to the Social Security Office to change the surname under the social security number and then head to the DMV to change surnames on the driver’s license. Once the name change is complete on all important documents, changing surnames on credit cards and bank statements should be a breeze!

Wedding Photojournalism Q&A

An Interview With Wedding Photojournalist Dan Harris Tell our readers what Wedding Photojournalism is?

DAN: The dictionary defines photojournalism as telling a story with pictures. Today there are more definitions of wedding photojournalism than there are photographers who truly practice it. Wedding photojournalism started when a bride hired a working newspaper photojournalist to cover her wedding and he did it just like he would any photo assignment using black and white film and unobtrusively documenting what really happened.

How is it different than regular wedding photography?

DAN: 'Regular' or traditional wedding photography has always involved lots of direction, posing and control by the photographer. The term Wedding Photojournalism was popularized by the Kennedy family photographer Denis Reggie. He categorizes unadulterated wedding photojournalism as photography that is captured without any control, influence or direction by the photographer.

What has made wedding photojournalism so popular today?

DAN: With so many wedding day plans and pressures many brides prefer their wedding day photography to be unobtrusive, spontaneous and natural. They prefer the photographs of the real moments captured that bring back real memories of what really happened rather than the staged or orchestrated ones.

Doesn't every wedding photographer today offer wedding photojournalism?

DAN: Because of its popularity when asked if they offer photojournalistic photography most every wedding photographer will say yes. But what they offer may not be the same as what the bride had in mind. There is a lot of confusion in the marketplace and photography style terms abound. i.e.: Classical, Contemporary, Natural, Romantic, Photojournalistic, Documentary, Illustrative, Fashionable, Eclectic, Story-Telling, Dramatic, Artistic, Life-stylistic, Environmental, Fantasy, Fine-art, Elegant, Candid, etc. Any two photographers will use the same term to mean two different things.

How does a bride eliminate the confusion between the different styles and terms?

DAN: The bride really only needs to concern herself with two classifications of photography. 1) the staged type that requires pre-planning, setup and time out of your wedding-day schedule and 2) the type that occurs naturally during the course of your event without any interruption to your event timetable. Your preference in regards to these two classifications will determine how much time will be spent 'posing for pictures' (time away from your guests) on your wedding day and the type of photographer you should hire.What if a bride wants a mix of styles?

DAN: Every photographer has his own unique style and strengths. Some do a fantastic job of spontaneously capturing the decisive moments at an event, others have the talent to orchestrate a glamorous pose and no two are quite alike. Not many photographers are the best at both. Multiple photographers may help or they may just end up in each others pictures. It is critical to do extensive research into your photographer's style to insure you know what they are really capable of and to insure you hire the right photographer to match your own style.

Do Wedding Photojournalists take formal group photographs?

DAN: Some will and some won't. Over Fifty percent of the brides I work with request some type of group photographs. (Some formal and some casual) Our goal is to give our brides the highest quality natural-looking group photos in the least amount of time and have fun while doing it. We never go over the pre-planned time allowed for posed photos.

What are the advantages of Wedding Photojournalism?

DAN: The advantages include natural looking images, unobtrusive photographer, complete coverage, unexpected images and lots of photographs capturing real memories of what really happened. No interruption of your event timetable. ~ Less cheese.

What are the disadvantages of Wedding Photojournalism?

DAN: You won't know in advance exactly what you are going to get. Not all real images are pretty! You may have some wasted shots.

What should a bride do to find the photographer who is right for her?

DAN: I have written a lengthy pamphlet on this subject. (Available online at: www.FreePhotography.info ) In regards to style, I think it is critical to see lots of images and complete albums from your potential photographer as this will give you a realistic view of what they can really do for you.

What about viewing images on a photographer's website, literature and in their advertisements?

DAN: That's a good place to start but you must go deeper than that because too often a photographer's true capability is masked by the limited number of edited photographs they allow you to see. Ten of a photographer's best edited photos from the past 10 years may not be a true representation of the type or style of actual images you will receive from your wedding day. You can prevent disappointment if you look at hundreds of images and several albums from your potential photographer as you will have a true and realistic understanding of their style and what they can do for you prior to hiring them.

What about digital wedding photography?

DAN: Professional high-definition digital cameras (DSLR w/10+ megapixels) in the hands of an experienced professional photographer (with extensive computer skills, software training and staff) can make great digital images that far exceed any photographic quality previously achieved from any other equipment or medium. The camera alone doesn't make the photographer. Today there are a lot of inexperienced people who are experimenting as part-time photographers, although they may call themselves ‘professionals’ I would be cautious.

How can a bride prevent wedding vendor problems?

DAN: A bride should take the same logical steps they would in hiring any wedding-day vendor, check references (both previous clients and other wedding vendors) and verify insurance and licenses, check their Better Business Bureau report, make sure they are upstanding members of local support organizations and read the fine print on their contract and clarify everything in writing. I would pay with a credit card because they will work to insure you get what you pay for and will be your mediator if you have any problems.

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Dan Harris is a member of the prestigious Wedding Photojournalist Association (www.wpja.com) a highly screened, critical organization of the world’s most talented wedding photojournalists. Less than 5% of all wedding photographers qualify for membership.( Members of WPJA have the goal of 'telling the story of your wedding day, not dictating it for you'.) He is also a member of the National Press Photographers Association. For more information, please visit his website at www.GetRealPhotography.com or call Dan at (904) 398-7668 with your photography questions.