The Groom's Cake

The Groom's Cake is a tradition popular in the South, but where did this tradition come from?

In the Victorian Era, the groom's cake was a dense fruit cake. Small pieces of cake were put into boxes and given to the single women at the wedding. The women put the cake under their pillow to bring dreams of their future husband.

While that tradition has gone away, the groom's cake is still generally darker or denser than the wedding cake. Popular favorites include chocolate cake, carrot cake, or cheesecake. And it is still popular to box the groom's cake and give it to your guests as a wedding favor.

We see lots of our couples serve the groom's cake at the rehearsal dinner rather than at the wedding. Usually, the cake is designed with the groom's interests or hobbies in mind. The fun cake pictured here is from Jenna and Andy's wedding, and was created by Classic Cakes and photographed by Fox Fotography.

So do you have to have one? No, it's your wedding - do whatever you want to! But it is a fun way to incorporate a touch of the groom's personality into the wedding day.

Why Do We Toss The Bouquet?

Two of the most exciting events of a wedding reception are the tossing of the bride’s bouquet and her garter. Tradition says that the single girl and guy that catch the bride’s objects will be next in line to be married; but have you ever wondered why this is? What is it about these two items that possess magical marriage powers?

The tradition of tossing the bouquet and garter dates back to the fourteenth century. Any piece of the bride’s attire was considered lucky, so guests were excited to claim their own bit of marriage luck. Some of the single guests would become so eager to have the bouquet that they would rush to the bride and enthusiastically try to grab it from her. To prevent the bride from being attacked by her guests, brides started tossing their bouquet to the crowd.

The tossing of the garter also evolved from trying to protect the bride. Way back when, when the reception was over, guests would accompany the newlyweds to their bedchamber. It was custom that the groom’s friends would try to remove the bride’s garters for good luck. Obviously this caused some discomfort. To avoid being bothered by drunken men, brides started tossing their garters in their direction instead.

Wedding Guest Etiquette, As Seen on WJXT's The Morning Show

I had the pleasure of speaking with Nikki Kimbleton on WJXT's The Morning Show again today - this time, the topic was Wedding Guest Etiquette.  Here are some of the tips we discussed:

Can you wear white to a wedding?

There is no hard and fast rule that says "no," but it is generally frowned upon. However, the bride will never notice what her guests are wearing!

Where do you sit if you are friends with both the bride and groom?

You can sit on either side. We ask our ushers to keep the seating balanced, so sit on whichever side has the fewer guests.

Should you bring a gift to the wedding? Gifts are never required. However, if you choose to give one, it's best to send it ahead of time to the bride or groom, or up to one year after the wedding!

Do you have to stick with the registry? I'm saying, YES! This is one of the biggest pet peeves we hear from brides and grooms. They spend many hours setting up their registry and choosing items for their homes - stick with their wish list.

Is cash better? What is an appropriate amount? Emily Post says, "Let your affection for the bride and groom be your guide." In general, think about the amount you would spend on a gift, and give the same as a cash gift.

What if you are invited but your significant other is not? You should never, under any circumstances, bring an additional (uninvited) guest to a wedding. However, you may want to gently ask the bride or groom to be sure there was not an error.

What is the #1 mistake guests make? Arriving late!  Plan to be in your seat for the ceremony 15 minutes before the time listed on the invitation. If you do arrive late, wait outside the church until the processional has finished, and then slip in a side door or the balcony.

Check out the interview here! http://www.news4jax.com/video/28810496/index.html

Peggy Post: Wedding Etiquette

Heather and I recently attended the Association of Bridal Consultants’ annual conference in Indianapolis.  We met a lot of great people, and attended some very informative classes.  One of the highlights of the conference for me was meeting Peggy Post. That’s right, Peggy Post, the great-granddaughter-in-law of Emily Post – etiquette guru!

I attended two of Peggy’s sessions at the conference, and learned some really interesting things about etiquette and how it changes between cultures and over time.

One thing that really stuck out to me was that the giving of a thank you gift can differ between cultures.  The type of gift, when to give it, when to open it, and the appropriate way to reciprocate the gift can all vary depending on the culture.  For instance, be cautious if giving flowers as a gift.  Different colors or types of flowers have various meanings depending on the culture;  some even symbolizing death.  What I found even more interesting (and not surprising) is that chocolates are the universal thank you.

My favorite part of Peggy’s presentation, (besides her calling wedding coordinators saints) was her showing how the principles of etiquette have changed over time.

In 1922: A bride-to-be could not accept apparel, a house, or a car from her fiancé. A wedding in the evening would never take place in New York. A sit-down breakfast reception was the norm. Southern weddings took place in the evenings (because the weather was typically cooler).

In 1980: Female guests should never wear white or black to a wedding. A woman who is re-marrying should never wear white. A bridal gift registry could only consist of crystal, silver, china, and linen – that’s all! The bridal party could only consist of men standing with the groom and women standing with the bride.

Now in 2009, we have honor attendants or even pets as participants in the bridal party.  It is acceptable for female guests to wear black; sometimes even the bridesmaids' dresses are black.  And bridal registries often consist of just about any household item, even camping gear and flat screen TVs.  Not to mention the option of having a honeymoon registry, or requests for charity donations in lieu of gifts.

I also found it interesting that the one rule of etiquette that has not changed in over 80 years is the sending of a hand written thank you note after receiving a gift.

How do you think the rules of etiquette will change over the next 20 years?  Will evites be acceptable as wedding invitations?  Will social or eco-responsibility be more of a rule instead of an option?

Something Borrowed, Something Hot Pink

Have you always been the kind of girl that has dreamed about a traditional wedding? Maybe you've never pictured anything but a modern theme on your wedding day. At either end of the spectrum, it's yours, and you make it what you want. You should never, at any moment, worry about what your guests think. Your wedding should be about you and your future spouse and who the two of you join together to be. Let's take a look at one of the most common wedding phrases...

"Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue."

Primarily, "something old" represents tradition. This is often a signification of your mom, grandmother, aunt, sister, etc. "Something old" stands for tradition and memories of the past, and traditions that you are continuing to carry on that will possibly be included in your granddaughter's wedding.

"Something new" is typically the style of the bride. It is what she wants to include in her wedding day that defines more of who she is and her sense of fashion.

A bride can sometimes receive a gift or item from a happily married friend or family member, alas "something borrowed." This may signify good fortune from one bride to another.

As far as "something blue" goes, the color and weddings have gone hand in hand for centuries. Brides in ancient Rome wore blue to symbolize many noble traits, while purity has been associated with the color because of Christianity's dressing the Virgin Mary in the color.

Whatever the theme, whatever the colors, whatever the traditions or lack thereof, your wedding is yours. Maybe your something blue should be something hot pink!

(pink flower photo courtesy of Tibby Dozier Steedly)

Straight To The Heart

Wedding rings hold much symbolism. Not only do wedding rings represent commitment, honor and love, but also the never ending circle is a symbol of peace and perfection. The hand that the wedding ring is placed on also has a significant meaning.

Dating back to ancient times, the third finger on the left hand was believed to be connected to a special vein, the vein of “love” that went directly to the heart. There is no scientific evidence thus far proving this theory, but this novel idea has lasted through centuries.

King Edward VI of England made a Law during his reign, that the third finger on the left hand would be the designated wedding ring finger. In 1549 this law was sealed when it became printed in the Book of Common Prayer. Even after King Edwards law many European brides still wear their wedding rings on their right hands. Tradition and customs all over the world will differ on which will be the proper placement of the wedding ring.

In the end it is not law or theories but personal beliefs that make the placement of the wedding ring significant and meaningful.